Being a parent – Let’s face it – is a roller coaster ride. Whether you have one child or you have multiples – it really never gets easy. There may be times, when situations may be easier to handle, and there may be times when you might have wanted to bang your head on the wall! Seems relatable? Firstly, what you have to realize is you are not perfect and neither are your children. It is easy to lose your cool, and that is why I m here to share with you some secrets of how you can be a calmer parent.
7 Must Tips for being a Calmer Parent
A study has found that 90% of parents – have at some point in time shouted at their children. I have experienced this myself, that when I shout on my children – they never tend to do what I had just shouted about. Instead, if I say the same thing – in a loving, accepting tone – they not only hear me but also remember it next time.
Your children look up to you, so this means, when you lose your calm, your children can sense and feel that. If you want your children to throw fewer tantrums or be calmer – first you will have to hone that skill. It is very important to understand what disturbs your calm and how you can get over the same without feeling guilty.
Here are simple steps to a calmer parent
⇒ Drink Water
Research clearly suggests that if you are hydrated, the better your body and brain operates. It helps you remain calm. So, next time, if you feel like you are getting angry, irate – your kids are misbehaving drink a BIG glass of water, count backward from 10-1 and then see if you still feel like shouting.
⇒ Step Away
You probably have already heard this many times, but have you tried it? Walk away, like literally. Do not let the situation take control of you. Walk out of the room, go down the stairs, head to your roof. This will help you get calm and as well as get your mind in control.
⇒ Gauge the situation
Once the water has cooled you down, call your child and talk to them. I have seen that parents try and avoid hard communications with their children, lest, they should get hurt. What you do have to understand is, if you do not talk at the right time, the child may never know what went wrong. Call your child and ask what just happened. Why did he do that? The situation may be wrong from your perspective, but from your child’s eyes – it may be something really simple. So access and gauge the situation to be a calmer parent.
⇒ You do not always have to react
When your child is throwing a tantrum or having some difficulty – It’s the child who is going through it. You are NOT. Your emotional maturation and your child is at two entirely different levels. When your child does something, it makes you stress – which makes you want to throw a FIT. Next time, try to choose to remain CALM. You will be more in control of the situation and you will be more confident in handling the situation and in turn make you a calmer parent
⇒ Take care of yourself
This probably is something that is true for a lot of mothers across the world. We let ourselves go. It is very sad, indeed. We sulk when we see happy couples and fit mommas and then we tend to curse ourselves. I probably cannot stress enough the importance of taking care of yourself. It is so important to making you a calmer parent. Take some time for a workout routine, go to the nearby park and play with children, go for a walk, play with a pet, do a beauty DIY, get a spa and pamper yourself, go on a shopping spree or just chill out with your friends. When you take care of yourself – you WILL be a calmer parent.
⇒ Never Argue with your spouse in front of your child
It can be very stressing for a child to see her parents fight and argue and even more stressing and guilty for you. Even if you did, you could explain to your child what happened. Say something like ” I should not have shouted so loudly on your father. I was really tired and this just made me really angry, but I have said SORRY and things are OK now” This helps you get rid of any negative emotions, you may have and will lead you to become a calmer parent gradually.
⇒ Say SORRY
You will lose your temper and its OK. Own your mistake and say sorry to your child. Do not blame your child for making you angry, frustrated or irate. When you say sorry, you not only are calming yourself but also setting a good example in front of your child. say something like – I am very unhappy with what you did BUT I am SORRY I shouted at you.
None of us is perfect, but we surely can work on ways to be a Calmer Parent. How do you stay calm when situations pressure you?
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