11 Lessons I’ve Learned in 11 years of marriage

We celebrate our 11 years of marriage anniversary exactly after 1 month. It almost seems unbelievable, how quickly time has flown away. Also, when I look back – I realize that marriage and love are not what I perceived it to be. The notion and perception change every year and it keeps changing as I get a better understanding of it. 

Kabhi Khushi, Kabhi Gam

1 ) Say sorry!

I learned this the hard way. I could not say sorry ever, which in turn made matters worse. What I have realized is, no matter what the situation – if you are wrong – just let your ego go and marriage win. 

I think many couples forget that they are in this together in as a team and not against each other. Me and husband fight like cats, like literally – no exaggeration – but the best part is that we make up real fast too.

2) Do not compare

Whether you like it or not, some couple will always be better than you. They may have a bigger house, more lavish lifestyle and have everything going perfect for them. You know what? It is OK, It’s not worth losing your sleep because someone else is doing better. Remember marriage is teamwork!

3) Just be grateful 

Developing an attitude of gratitude can do wonders in your life and marriage. Every day, take some time out and be thankful for your spouse and the wonderful things your spouse does. 

Let them know, how wonderful they are and how grateful you are that you two are together. Let them know how they bring joy to your life.

4) Communicate

This is probably one problem that I have noticed in many couples. Unfortunately, they are not able to communicate and put your thoughts forward. I see so many women being trapped in their own homes because their husbands won’t let them fly.

Thank God I have a spouse, who I can talk to freely as I want to, without any second thought about what he would think. 

5) You are not always right and that is OK!

I know, many of us want to be right always and want to prove our points, but do you know what – it is not always possible. Know that life is a constant learning process and you keep evolving as you progress through years.

6) Motivate each other

When your spouse spends a hard day at work or home, care for them. Ask them how their day was and never derogate each other’s work. Your spouse may be a homemaker or a manager – every work deserves respect and love.

Always remember to lift your spouse in praise and respect – when talking about them in front of others. Never degrade them, as it may break their morale’.

7. Celebrate happiness

After many years in marriage – couples miss celebrating each other and their happiness. Family and other responsibilities take up priority, for which their marriage pays a price. 

Celebrate your small victories together – and it does not have to be expensive every time. Plan something at home, if you cannot go out, but make sure you celebrate. Remember, it is about cherishing your time together.

8. Travel Together

Everyone gets bored with their mundane routines and so go out, will be a welcome change for your marriage and family. If your children are old enough to stay with someone, leave them for 1 day and enjoy your day off as a couple. 

9. Forgive each other

Do not hold grudges from past years. When you hold anger, regret, bad memories – you can never ever move forward in your life. Let the past be past. Forgive, Forget and Move on. 

10. Be best friends 

When you have a best friend at home – you can confide in them and have the best relationship in your marriage. Discuss and share your problems/dreams and issues with them. Be vocal, Do not expect your spouse to know everything.

11. Experience life TOGETHER.

The key takeaway from the last 11 years is this: We experience life TOGETHER. We celebrate successes TOGETHER. We suffer losses TOGETHER. We share our dreams TOGETHER.  That doesn’t mean that we don’t have different lives, dreams, and goals. It means that we share in one another’s lives, dreams, and goals.

Matches may be made in heaven but the work that goes in a marriage is done on earth

The Recipe for a Happy Marriage


  • 1 cup of consideration
  • 1 cup of courtesy
  • 2 cups of flattery carefully concealed
  • 2 cups of milk of human kindness
  • 1 gallon of faith and trust in each other
  • 2 cups of praise
  • small pinch of in-laws
  • 1 reasonable budget
  • cup of contentment
  • A generous dash of cooperation
  • a cup each of confidence and encouragement
  • 1 large or several small hobbies
  • 1 cup of blindness to the other’s faults


This post is a part of the Valentine’s Day blog train hosted by me & my wonderful friend Vartika, sponsored by Shilpsa, Kalpana from Kalpavriksha farms & Neha from @bloggingmadeeasier. You can check out the awesome post written by my co-host here.

Thank you for reading 

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35 thoughts on “11 Lessons I’ve Learned in 11 years of marriage

  1. I think your Recipe for a Happy Marriage has all the right ingredients! The post is so full of wisdom as all the pointers you’ve shared not only come from experience but are so important to have a happy marriage. Really aweosme post!

  2. Eleven commandments of blissful matrimony, I wish to call these. Appears to me that you are a keen observer and great learner in the class of “Life”!
    Wishing you a very happy anniversary (in advance), (as indicated in the post)!

  3. I just loved this post, thanks to the host for coming up with the theme of love…
    I am really enjoying reading every post. And yours is really too good

  4. I wld definitely try Ur recipe to happy marriage, it’s lovely how u put up Ur insight on d prompt 👍 get well written😊 N I also agree with all Ur points n I myself focus more on motivating each other, travelling together n one more thing I wld like to add on is not to hide anything from each other…🙂

  5. So much of creativity in the post. Loved the ingredients part. Every year of marriage do teach us something or the other. If taken in right sense, people always grow in marriage ☺️❤️

  6. It felt like i just read a pocket diary on how to make a relationship blossom. Its great how you incorporated so many points in your blog. And the best was the recipe at the end.

  7. Such a great post and some amazing tips. It’s lovely how you have related each aspect to the each passing year of your marriage. Surely Learning and evolving never stops. Loved it.

  8. Loved your recipe for a happy marriage! Thoughtfulness and respect for each other go a long way in a marriage. Little squabbles and differences don’t matter in the long run.

  9. Wow, great post with sharing of all essential factors of a successful marriage. the highlighting factor is a recipe that I loved it so much. it is the most innovative way to describe a successful relationship. #Vdayblogtrain

  10. Totally agree with your lessons, especially say sorry and you are not always right. Most partners feel it will hurt their ego if they say sorry or they always have to be right – marriage is not a game where you have to win, it’s a journey where you have to walk together. Loved this post!

  11. Ekdom dil se… this post is so touching. .. the categories that you mentioned are absolutely true . mutual understanding. .. no comparison etc are so in tune with a happy marriage…good wishes for your upcoming marriage anniversary

  12. Yes we have to turn blind for others fault, then life will be easy sail. Liked the way your recipe is written and I guess dash of surprises can be added 🙂


  13. Lovely recipe and perfect analysis…I feel the same after 15 years of my marriage..u have nailed all those points right in place…great article of how marriages mature…:)

  14. I loved your recpe for a happy marriage and the concoction that your prepared thereafter. I think travelling makes a lot of difference in helping couples understand each other yet stand by each other. I always look forward to short and long trips with my husband.

  15. I agree that those ingredients are must for a great relationship. Traveling together, being a best friend to each other and being grateful are really helpful in a happy marriage.by the way, we just celebrated our 11th anniversary too 🙂

  16. That’s a well-structured post that gives solid advice. I especially liked your recipe of success! For couples that have children, that’s an important ingredient too 🙂

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