Every parent has a unique parenting style, which differs and sets each parent apart from each other. In this age of the internet and social media, as parents, we are constantly bombarded by tips, tricks, how to’s of parenting. We are judged left, right and center for our parenting style. This can often lead to hurt feelings, rifts, debates, and arguments. What kind of parent are you? Are you a Good-Enough Parent? Or do you consider yourself an excellent parent or below average type?
What do we mean by ‘good enough parenting’?
Donald Winnicott was an English pediatrician and psychoanalyst and probably the first to use the phrase ‘good enough parent’. He recognized that it was unrealistic to demand perfection of parents, and was interested in finding out what made them ‘good enough’.
Importance of parenting and the needs of children
It is generally accepted that the needs of children are at their most intense in the first five years of life when they are at their most dependent. Good enough parenting delivered consistently over this critical period enables attachment and fosters the child’s sense of basic security, which is essential for subsequent mental health and self-esteem.
Different parenting styles have different goals and have very different end results. Obviously, the goal that you have as a parent is to do what’s best for your child. Parenting is not easy and you will agree to it.
Whether you are a first time or a second-time parent, each time it’s different and comes with its own set of challenges. It can be scary, frustrating, and rewarding all at the same time. Each style of parenting can come with its own long line of pros and cons, and nobody can tell you which is right for you.
First, things first – there are no perfect parents, and if you are trying to be one, you are in for a huge disappointment. Parents can’t be perfect. Why? Because we’re human and so are our children and humans are not perfect. BUT you can surely be good-enough-parent.
Perfect parenting begins right at the birth for some. Not letting the children cry at all, giving into their needs at the drop of a hat, feeding only food that is wanted by them, keeping children engaged all day in various activities, doing their homework with them or for them. Many of us scared to let our children be just children. Our efforts to meet every single want and desire of our children can hurt them in the end, because they fail to understand that real life is full of disappointments and struggles. When faced with a really tough situation, the children flip out.
So, how do you become a Good-Enough Parent?
» If you are having a bad day take a break. Go out with your children outside to a park, play together or sing, draw. basically, anything that will relieve some stress.
» Don’t worry so much about what other parents are saying or doing. Do what is right for your family. It will be good enough.
» Be real, put yourself in that situation and think, how is the child thinking? Is your being overprotective going to help him out of this situation?
» Let them figure stuff out themselves. Do not spoon feed information. Let them figure things out on their own
» Don’t do their homework or force them to learn or study. Instead, create a scenario where they want to learn themselves on their own. Check this link for Homework Routine for your children that surely will work.
» If you see your child doing something that is unacceptable – understand and talk about the situation right there and then. Do not just let it be.
» Repetition is the key to everything.
Also, read this article about how to empower children and make them free?
Hope you liked reading this informative article – Are you a Good-Enough Parent.
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Until next time – take care, stay connected with me and God Bless.
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