Are you a helicopter parent? Parenting is overwhelming, there are no second thoughts about the same. If you are a first time parent, you will complete agree to the fact, with the birth of your child, your life turns 100%. For the initial couple of years, couples forget themselves, and are completely devoted to the upbringing of their children. Movies, dates, shopping, a day with your friend alone ? – these words seems like entirely impossible.
It becomes entirely tougher when the world seems to judge everything you do. Friends and family have constant updates or new advise always to give. The neighbors are constantly on the lookout for any trivial mistakes that you may have committed ! Does it all sound familiar to you ? Well, it is common, and my personal advise would be, do not get influenced.
As parents, you know the best for your child and we want to keep our children safe from any hurdles of life. But in doing so … sometimes we go overboard ! I am not sure, if it has occurred to you – that we can over do parenting as well ! This brings us to my topic of today – Are you a helicopter parent?
Are you a helicopter parent?
The metaphor appeared as early as 1969 in the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. Haim Ginott, which mentions a teen who complains: “Mother hovers over me like a helicopter ” (Reference – Dr. Haim Ginott (1969), Between Parent and Teenager, p. 18, New York, NY: Scribner. ISBN 0-02-543350-4.)
In simple terms it means – a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children ( Definition picked from Google). Did you just think – As a parent, Am I not supposed to do that ? That’s a parents responsibility right ?? Well, keep reading to know more interesting facets about this .
Image Source – https://www.stayathomemum.com.au/my-kids/helicopter-parenting-is-it-ruining-our-kids/
Are you a helicopter parent?
Do you find yourself constantly making choices for your children right from what she wears to, who she makes friend with, what hobbies a child takes – a parent seems to decide everything on behalf of the children. Parents keep hovering over their children and have a suggestion and a view point for every simple thing of their life and children are not allowed or cannot take a decision.
Warning signs – Are you a helicopter parent?
- You do all the home work yourself
- As a parent, you want to interfere in fights and arguments of your children
- Continues tab on how your children are doing at school
- Always accompany your children even when they are going near by
- Don’t let children do any household chores, since you feel they may feel overburdened
- Don’t let them solve any problems themselves
- Always give them a solution before letting the child even tries themselves anything
- Feed your children yourself and dictate how much they eat every time
- Children cannot make any life choices
- You feel lost just at the thought of letting your child go on a field trip with their class, friends.
- As a parent, you have always have to sit in between of your children’s friend and know what they are talking about.
- You have a constant urge to control the situation, your child is in.
Side Effects of helicopter parenting –
Image Source – https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/helicopter-parents-vs-tiger-parents
- Life skills – When children are continually told what is to be done, they get used to it and cannot do things on their own. They find it tough going through or facing any tough situation. They are not equipped in
handling life skills
- Overanxious – Since a child is not equipped with appropriate life skills, he feels over anxious always. Children may feel stress and anxiety when not able to take basic simple decisions on their own. They
become nervous or clueless when taking a decision.
- Low self esteem – Since parents are so involved with their children, children feel scared when they do something alone. They always want their parents to take their decisions.
Image Source -https://goo.gl/qizWRZ
Guidelines on how you can avoid becoming a helicopter parent?
- Let the child think freely and listen to what he/she has to offer/say.
- Do not try to manage their day to day chores. Let them try and do it themselves
- If the child suffers consequences, because of he/she was unable to do their commitments – Let them go through it and find a way.
- You can provide your valuable suggestions
- Encourage them to find solutions to the problems they are facing
- Never do your child’s homework. Remind them of any timelines and encourage them to finish it
As you read all this – I am sure you may have a different school of thought to the topic entirely.
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Do let me know what do you think about Are you a helicopter parent?
Until next time – take care, stay connected with me and God Bless
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