Managing Sibling Insecurity


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If you have recently welcomed a second baby in your house, you probably are worried if you are able to give enough love and attention to your firstborn. Managing Sibling Insecurity becomes essential in this case, as many older children feel unloved and uncared for. Read on to know what and how of Managing Sibling Insecurity.

Managing Sibling Insecurity

Statistics show that nearly 80% of homes have at least one sibling. Many parents start preparing for their new baby way in advance by talking to their first child, which is, of course, is great and essential.

Yet, the transition to adjusting to a new child in the home may be challenging for a lot of kids. Many do not feel the love and warmth for their new sibling like you probably are for your newborn as a parent. 

Managing Sibling Insecurity

When you break the news of a sibling coming into their world, it means HUGE changes for them. Till now they were the center of attraction in your family, the single cynosure who garnered all love, care, and affection. Intuitively, the child knows that soon this will be divided.

To help your child adjust, you need to assure your child that nothing is going to change and this will help in Managing Sibling Insecurity. 

Once the newborn arrives, your child may do things to attract your attention – like pulling on the baby’s clothes, taking his toys, not willing to bond with the baby, not eating their food or maybe even an increase in tantrums. Understand that this is just because they are missing out on the time they shared with YOU earlier. 

Simple steps to Managing Sibling Insecurity

Make them feel Important 

The reason most first-born feel insecure is that they think they are not important anymore. Manage sibling insecurity by giving them and making them feel important. Ask suggestions like which color will suit the baby or do you think you and baby would like to listen to a story? Spend time with both the children together.

Reassure that a new baby will NOT take away love 

Most first-born worry that mommy and daddy will not be the same. Tell and assure your child that a newborn CAN never replace them or take away their love. Let them know that you both are equally important, loved, cared and cherished. 

Managing Sibling Insecurity

Give them special Jobs 

Children love helping their parents out and feel really special when they are able to carry out a task. While bathing your little one, ask the older one to pass you soap, towel. Get diapers. When the baby cries, ask them to sing a lullaby, or gently pat their head or hug lightly. This also helps in creating a bond within siblings and helps in Managing Sibling Insecurity.

Spend alone time 

As a new parent, this must be challenging but pivotal in building and Managing Sibling Insecurity. Take your child to a play area and spend time playing together, or share stories, sing, eat or cook together. Even 10 minutes a day would mean the world to your child. This reinforces the thought of love and care in the child. 

Acknowledge their feelings 

Many parents fail to understand or notice that their older child is feeling lonely or dejected. Talk to your child, let them know that you understand it must be tough on him to understand things. Rather than scolding or shooing your child away, just talk. Hold and hug as you talk. Little things for children matter a lot.

Do not push your child into bonding with the baby

Managing Sibling Insecurity

It is natural that as new parents, you want your children to love and share this sibling bond. If you feel, your child is resisting and is not ready, do not push. Children take time to adjust to new settings. Meanwhile, keep assuring and do not miss out on any chance of loving them. 

Read Books 

If you used to read bedtime stories together, or were not – books are a great way to communicate and let children know how the siblings can bond. Reading these books, helps children understand what is happening to them at their own level. 

Check this wonderful collection of books – https://www.fatherly.com/

Keep Positive discipline at home

While a small baby does not need or cannot follow rules/discipline, the same can not be said about the older child at your home. When your elder child gets scolded for something while the younger one is spared can be disheartening to the elder one. They may think that you are playing favorites. Ensure you address this as soon as possible and well be on your way to Managing Sibling Insecurity like a pro.

Managing Sibling Insecurity

Managing Sibling Insecurity

Children will perpetually have a response to the birth of a sibling at any age. If you are aware of the issues involved, equip your child for the change and develop a friendship with your child based on open communication, you will notice that they will adjust more easily and the family will enjoy the family’s wondrous newcomer.


This is my entry post for the blog train #SiblingStories hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. Thirty esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to take part in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past.

I would like to thank Shivani who blogs at shivanisalil for introducing me to this blog train and would like to welcome Kalpana who blogs at lazysummerdiaries to blog on sibling stories and share her view points.     

Managing Sibling Insecurity


Thank you for reading and knowing more about Managing Sibling Insecurity

If you liked this article – Like, share and comment on it. What do you think about this post – Managing Sibling Insecurity ? Until next time – take care, stay healthy and connected with us.

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**Disclaimer – images used in this article are NOT my property and have been used only for the sole purpose of a reference **

This is a personal blog that chronicles my own experiences. Readers must take proper medical advice (if any discussed above) before trying anything at home

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Princy Khurana (@clanpedia) with proper and specific direction to the original content.

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49 thoughts on “Managing Sibling Insecurity

  1. Every post is unique in some way. This one talks about the security angle that many may have not thought of. reading all these posts is also making me aware that a blogger’s thoughts must be inclusive of a lot more than what comes at the first instance. Thank you for this post that has guided me to blog better.

    Arvind Passey
    http://www.passey.info

  2. These insecurities exists and increase when the comparisons begin. As you mentioned it is important to manage those insecurities. And you have given some great solutions to manage those insecurities.

  3. Very thoughtful write up I would say.Elder ones do get insecure upon arrival of young ones.So its utterly important to explain our elder kid beforehand and take them in confidence.Lovely post.

  4. That’s true we shouldn’t neglect elder sibling (kids), I m a mother of two kids I always try to balance between both but to be true sometimes it’s really too hard to convince them

  5. Luckily, when our second baby was born, things were smooth, maybe because of family’s support. We never had to do so much preparation for the second baby. Everything was so natural and I’m grateful that both my daughters share a great bond. 🙂

  6. Lovely article. Although I don’t know how it feels to have different age kids & how their insecurities look like but being a twin mommy, I have seen a different kind of sibling insecurity. One that comes when the other one gets a little extra attention or time. These dynamics need a lot of tact to be handled.

  7. When my younger boy was born, I received one most useful advise, “The younger one is going to need you only for feed, poop and repeat.” Spend as much time as possible with your elder one.” That will make the acceptance of the younger easier. I stood by this and did not face much difficulty.

  8. This is a really handy post babe for any parent who is considering a second child. We are still undecided but managing sibling rivalry or how to make sure Karma doesn’t feel any less important is something we do discuss in case we decided to try for a second one. Bookmarking this post. 🙂

  9. This would be Sucha helpful post for all parents who are planning their second baby . They can actually take care of what to do and what not to do for managing siblings.

  10. Great post. I have twins and get to witness such episodes of insecurity often. I follow most of these things you have mentioned and they help to an extent.

  11. I really liked the way you explained, Princy, that reassurance from parents that the new baby wouldn’t rob him/her of love & care is ALL that the elderly siblings need.

    Letting them be a part of baby care activities is, too, a very vital step.

  12. When you are planning for a second one, from that very fast day, you should start explaining things to your elder one. Even during your pregnancy days, help him/her to take care of yours. Things will go smooth automatically.

  13. This is a good write up. I wish more parents thought and planned about this in a structured manner. Sibling rivalry is real and can damage the innocent minds of the young ones. BUt if u do it with some smart planning then you can be assured of actually having one more helping hand in managing new baby.

  14. Earlier times the older child was expected to bond without complaints. Glad you came out with this one to talk about. Times are changing and parents do try to avoid this rivalries. This would be helpful to many second time parents.

  15. This is such a real issue coz though i have one daughter she has the same problem regarding her cousin coz they are the only two kids in the family. Really need to pay attention to these things to avoid any resentments between kids

  16. This is so well written. Sibling insecurity can be avoided when parents explain to the older child in advance about their sibling that is to arrive and prepare them about it. similarly spending quality time with the older child after baby is born is equally important

  17. I currently have only one child but my son was youngest amongst his cousins and obviously he was always being felt important. So , when he had little baby cousin and had to see her for the first time we made sure tò make him feel important and said baby sister loves him so much and looks up to his brother (him) so he felt good about her arrival :). I bet this post will be very useful when we have our next child.

  18. It’s happens more or less with everyone who have siblings even with me too. But yes like you said following these tips helps a lot

  19. This is such an useful post for mothers like me who have 2 kids. We have to guide our children to manage sibling rivalry and keep the competition healthy.

  20. It happens and its normal, as a parent we have to deal with that delicately. It comes from the feeling of insecurity, unattended sometimes and special care for the new one. But we should be aware about it from the beginning so that things can go smooth and easy

  21. This post is such an enlightening one , siblings can be best friends if bought up well ! this would really help a lot of parents

  22. Yes this is an important concern for all parents having their second baby. The elder one who is also very small at that stage can suffer from this complex. Thanks for these tips.

  23. I am following this blog train and loving the content. The tips you have given here are quite essential because sibbling jealousy can be really harmful these days.

  24. I am glad you raised the topic of sibling rivalry buddy. I know the string emotion as I experienced it when my little brother was born. Thanks to my parents, I could overcome it and today my brother is my best buddy.

  25. It’s so important to make kids understand in loving manner and really we should not push them to just get bonded …they will surely understand and Bond and once bonded noone take their siblings place

  26. Can’t agree more. Welcoming a new baby is a big thing for the elder one. If they don’t feel neglected and are given a good chance to show their involvement then the whole process becomes smooth.

    #Siblingstories #Siblingtalks

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