If you have recently welcomed a second baby in your house, you probably are worried if you are able to give enough love and attention to your firstborn. Managing Sibling Insecurity becomes essential in this case, as many older children feel unloved and uncared for. Read on to know what and how of Managing Sibling Insecurity.
Managing Sibling Insecurity
Statistics show that nearly 80% of homes have at least one sibling. Many parents start preparing for their new baby way in advance by talking to their first child, which is, of course, is great and essential.
Yet, the transition to adjusting to a new child in the home may be challenging for a lot of kids. Many do not feel the love and warmth for their new sibling like you probably are for your newborn as a parent.
When you break the news of a sibling coming into their world, it means HUGE changes for them. Till now they were the center of attraction in your family, the single cynosure who garnered all love, care, and affection. Intuitively, the child knows that soon this will be divided.
To help your child adjust, you need to assure your child that nothing is going to change and this will help in Managing Sibling Insecurity.
Once the newborn arrives, your child may do things to attract your attention – like pulling on the baby’s clothes, taking his toys, not willing to bond with the baby, not eating their food or maybe even an increase in tantrums. Understand that this is just because they are missing out on the time they shared with YOU earlier.
Simple steps to Managing Sibling Insecurity
Make them feel Important
The reason most first-born feel insecure is that they think they are not important anymore. Manage sibling insecurity by giving them and making them feel important. Ask suggestions like which color will suit the baby or do you think you and baby would like to listen to a story? Spend time with both the children together.
Reassure that a new baby will NOT take away love
Most first-born worry that mommy and daddy will not be the same. Tell and assure your child that a newborn CAN never replace them or take away their love. Let them know that you both are equally important, loved, cared and cherished.
Give them special Jobs
Children love helping their parents out and feel really special when they are able to carry out a task. While bathing your little one, ask the older one to pass you soap, towel. Get diapers. When the baby cries, ask them to sing a lullaby, or gently pat their head or hug lightly. This also helps in creating a bond within siblings and helps in Managing Sibling Insecurity.
Spend alone time
As a new parent, this must be challenging but pivotal in building and Managing Sibling Insecurity. Take your child to a play area and spend time playing together, or share stories, sing, eat or cook together. Even 10 minutes a day would mean the world to your child. This reinforces the thought of love and care in the child.
Acknowledge their feelings
Many parents fail to understand or notice that their older child is feeling lonely or dejected. Talk to your child, let them know that you understand it must be tough on him to understand things. Rather than scolding or shooing your child away, just talk. Hold and hug as you talk. Little things for children matter a lot.
Do not push your child into bonding with the baby
It is natural that as new parents, you want your children to love and share this sibling bond. If you feel, your child is resisting and is not ready, do not push. Children take time to adjust to new settings. Meanwhile, keep assuring and do not miss out on any chance of loving them.
If you used to read bedtime stories together, or were not – books are a great way to communicate and let children know how the siblings can bond. Reading these books, helps children understand what is happening to them at their own level.
Check this wonderful collection of books – https://www.fatherly.com/
Keep Positive discipline at home
While a small baby does not need or cannot follow rules/discipline, the same can not be said about the older child at your home. When your elder child gets scolded for something while the younger one is spared can be disheartening to the elder one. They may think that you are playing favorites. Ensure you address this as soon as possible and well be on your way to Managing Sibling Insecurity like a pro.
Managing Sibling Insecurity
Children will perpetually have a response to the birth of a sibling at any age. If you are aware of the issues involved, equip your child for the change and develop a friendship with your child based on open communication, you will notice that they will adjust more easily and the family will enjoy the family’s wondrous newcomer.
This is my entry post for the blog train #SiblingStories hosted by Ila Varma in collaboration with the Brand Ang Tatva. Thirty esteemed bloggers from blogging fraternity have joined hands to take part in the Blog train for #SiblingTalk reviving the sweet and tickling hours spent with loving siblings and revive golden memories of the past.
I would like to thank Shivani who blogs at shivanisalil for introducing me to this blog train and would like to welcome Kalpana who blogs at lazysummerdiaries to blog on sibling stories and share her view points.
Thank you for reading and knowing more about Managing Sibling Insecurity
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